Brokeback Mountain

I went to see Brokeback Mountain today. This is a film that really digs deep into the emotions. I'm really not sure if it should be described as a 'gay cowboy movie'. This is a film about two people finding a level of emotional interdependence that neither of them can really come to terms with. As a result they live out fairly conventional lives - on the surface at least. They get married and have children. But they cannot live without each other. They can't live together either. No other relationships bear any comparison with what they found together in that summer of 1963. Neither men can express their feelings for each other - in fact one has trouble talking about anything at all. At one point the girlfriend says -'I'm with Karl now. He even talks'. She gets the reply 'I bet you're having more fun as well'. She (with tears flowing) counters with 'You don't fall in love with fun'. I suspect that sums it up. Neither men had fun with each other, and yet they couldn't live with each other. 'I miss you so much, it breaks me apart'. All the surviving man has of the dead friend is a shirt and a postcard of Brokeback Mountain. In some ways this is just too sad to bear at times. Makes you think though.

East End Muttering

I took my car to be serviced and get the MOT today. I have absolutely no affinity with cars at all. Men (and they are always men) who work in car service centres know this. They treat me with contempt as a lowly being who can be exploited and whose ignorance can be exposed. What delight they have (mor like relish) in announcing the terrible things they've discovered. I always feel like a naughty schoolboy - discovered in some terrible sin or something that I have done through error or omission. This time it was the tyres. The implication was that I've been driving badly, and certainly should have known that were beginning to wear thin.
The MOT was done by a firm glorying in the name 'Big Ron's'. Nuff said.
Having no car meant I could spend some time travelling by bus. I like London buses. People always want to talk - at bus stops, on the bus, although often they are talking to someone else (loudly on a mobile phone). They like to test the standard of their English - so I rarely end up sitting alone.
There were three incidents today. A boy was challenged by the driver over his age. He claimed 13 but the driver wasn't having it - insisting he was 16. The boy protested but the driver produced his trump card - if you're only 13 then why ain't you in school (it being 10 a. m. at that point. Boy leaves bus in a huff.
A woman disputes her Oyster Card reading with the driver, then sits down to discover a wallet on her seat. It appeared that it had been sitting there some time - but none of the other passengers would touch it for fear of what? Accusations, threats, moral dilemmas. Woman engages her neighbour in conversation about wallet, then (as neighbour really doesn't want to get involved) hands in to driver for safe keeping.
Thirdly I'm on the bus at close by the hospital a woman gets on and begins a series of phone conversations - extremely loudly: 'Raj is just lovely, I could have taken him home' 'Adorable' 'We went to physio - terrific, but nothing exciting' 'We went to S U - some kind of emergency department, there was this man with an enormous haematoma - hideous, gross, huge!' ' Then there was this other guy with stab wounds' ' You know this area is so frightening, I find it so scary. I'm on my way to the station, I'm going home. This area it is just so .....' At which point she realises that all the bus passengers are staring at her with a mixture of astonishment and venom!
Finally I return home from collecting the car (£400 lighter, although that did include an extension to the warranty!) to be greeted by a discussion on the radio about the desperate need for bodies at the various British schools of anatomy. Medical students need to start on the deceased before they begin on the living. As I have a fear of being buried alive, and cremation seems so awful somehow maybe I'll be changing my will to include a further charitable donation.

Bernice Rubens

This month's choice at my book group is Bernice Rubens' 'The Elected Member'. I'm not certain how much I'm enjoying it. As always with Bernice's work it is very challenging - in your face you might say. Some interesting ideas are proposed. The opening chapters are about the 'hero's' commitment to a mental insitution - a bit too close to home for me perhaps. Anyone else out there read it? What do you think? Please let me know.

Iraq

So what do we do?
Churches are being bombed - in a country which seemed to have a sort of religious tolerance.
Saddam Hussain is going through a trial that would not be tolerated in any other country - and would have been condemned by the US as a show trial. Could the UN take it over?
Reconstruction is so far behind schedule that conditions are no better than before Iraq was invaded. Instead of defeating Iraq as a source of terrorism now the whole Middle East is likely to explode. Watching the conditions in an Iraqi hospital where the conjoined twins were born this week I could have wept. Iraq had a highly educated population and women had a degree of freedom - even though Saddam Hussain was a monster who gassed his own people. Are things really improving? Do we not have some responsibility?
Maybe to lighten the atmosphere we should have more comedy - like the track sent to me from someone claiming to be called Weird Al Yankovic. Gave me a rare laugh over Iraq I have to say.
It just worries me that the US is going to walk away again and leave someone else to pick up the pieces - whatever is happening in Afghanistan? Is life any better there? Certainly the heroin trade appears to be booming. Just remember how Britain fought several wars with China to ensure they guaranteed free trade in opium! Maybe the world trade negotiations should be doing something similar with Colombia - no sorry the US government seem to be doing all right in that regard already!

Big Garden Bird Watch

Today (taking my mind off the troubles of the world) I'll be taking part in the Big Garden Bird Watch. Join in too - they want as many submissions as possible! Find out more at http://www.rspb.org/birdwatch/2006/index.asp

Suicide is painless

Well that's what the theme to MASH said - but I don't really think so. The pain is for the the person who dies and for the people left behind. The person who dies is in so much pain that no one can comprehend it. The pain can be physical, emotional, psychological, or a combination of them all. That pain is combined with pressure from those around the person 'Snap out of it', 'Aren't there people to live for', 'How could you think of it - when so many people will be affected by your death'. And yet we will all die sometime - is it not reasonable to control the manner and departure of your departure?
The problem is of course that suicide is a terrible sin. Most religions condemn it, and in Britain it was illegal until recently. Even politically the cult of the suicide bomber is almost universally condemned as horrific and unacceptable as a form of action - but how is it worse than assassination or weapons of massdestruction?
For those left behind the emotions are impossible to quantify. For those discovering the body the image lives with them forever. I've heard train drivers talking about experiencing 'jumpers' (those who throw themselves under the wheels of trains). Some say that on the London Underground the driver knows that it is about to happen because the jumper will sometimes look into the eyes of the driver before stepping off the platform.
Many relatives and friends of suicides experience anger - at the selfishness of the deceased; guilt - why couldn't we prevent it? depression often follows, and closure is very difficult - if not impossible to achieve.
And yet, the demand for euthensia continues to rise, because life is sacred. Strangely enough the greatest opposition comes from those countries with high rates of executions, and the least opposition from those countries performing legal abortions, but where capital punishment has been abolished. What does this prove? There are no absolute standards of morality anywhere.

A Friday Downer

I've just been on another site where the discussion topic was suicide - selfish act?
This could well be my item for today - any objections?

Palestine

Just to start with - I find it ironic that George Bush has talked today about not accepting a political party or organisation in government 'with an armed wing' and 'a party with the political aim of overthrowing another country' when every year US Presidents have welcomed the leaders of Sinn Fein from Ireland - a political party with an armed wing (the IRA) and whose aim was the overthrow of the government of Northern Ireland - but of course the Irish American electorate is significant & I guess there aren't many Palestinian Americans.

Democracy is very tough. We can't pick and choose which democratic decision to accept.

It is also extremely unpredictable - so many people seem surprised by the extent of the hamas vistory - and yet (listening to the BBC - how neutral is that?) most of the voters they interviewed talke about extremely 'street level' matters - public services, inefficiency of government, corruption of officials. Mundane - and truly what politics should be about. The ruling party had lived off the back of the PLO and Yassa Arafat and failed their people at a basic level. And now - hamas has a terrible responsibility - they must deliver to the Palestinian people. Can they deliver some kind of peace as well - maybe it isn't in their hands.

The Muslim world needs to support the new government, economically and financially at least - the money that previously came from America & Europe may well dry up if hamas will not or cannot renounce violence (but frankly how can they do that when faced with oppression and economic ruin). That money needs to be spent on the provision of public services and a basic infrastructure.

I don't want to see the destruction of Israel, and lets face it Europeans bear the terrible burden of centuries of anti-semitism and the holocaust can never be forgiven, but this cannot excuse some Israeli politicians seemingly wanting to eradicate the Palestinian people as well. I'm sure life would be easier if all the Palestinians just disappeared or accepted a subservient role within Israel - but this isn't going to happen.

Will hamas be pragmatic enough to see that the survival of Palestine requires accomodation, and a tacit acceptance that some good will exists with Israel towards the notion of parallel development of two states?

Time will tell, and those who believe in some kind of divine authority need to be praying very hard right now. The rest of us will keep our fingers crossed.

PS Came across Harold Pinter's Nobel Prize Acceptance speech on another blog. Worth reading at http://www.thenation.com/doc/20051226/pinter

Suggestions Please!

What would you like me to write about today? You have 8 hours in which to respond?
I fancy writing about the Palestinians elections - too serious perhaps?

Horse and Hounds

I'm a bit of an Archers fanatic (on Radio 4 here in the UK). So you'll see references to this quite often - this time it will be about the issue of hunting. Yesterday the appalling Jill Archer was berating Caroline and Oliver for accidentally ripping a fox to shreds when by complete chance they came across one while having a gentle canter across the countryside accompanied by several dozen hounds. 'It's againt the law!!!!' she screamed.

Great mystery though - how come the East Borsetshire hunt only consists of two huntsmen but from the noise of it huge numbers of dogs (sorry can't call them that - they are hounds!)

For once I'm on the side of the terrible Jill - not that I'm on the side of the fox - vermin should be eradicated, by gassing, shooting or trapping - it's just the spectacle of these people rushing across the countryside - the unspeakable in pursuit of the uneatable as someone said. I'm going to get mail!

Religious adverts

Interesting that the ads on this blog seem to be very much related to religion - especially when I'm such a heathen!

Did we survive?

I heard that 23rd January is the most depressing day of the year - it wasn't so bad for me - how was it for you?
And now the review of Mary Poppins - courtesy of my culture vulture friend J.

"I'm now going to rave about Mary Poppins which was terrific and not too sweet and sugary, much more book-like than Disney with just enough nastiness to prevent gagging. The sets are magnificent, the dancing superb, the children way above the normal run-of -the-mill child actors and generally a very good evening out. It ranks as one of my top five theatrical experiences and that's saying something at my elevated age, especially as the others are all some time ago. I seem to have been overdosing on all forms of culture recently. Can you tell that's my New Year's Resolution to see and do as much as possible? I'm really enjoying it too."

I reckon we'll be sharing lots more reviews before too long!

I went to the library today - something I always enjoy, as there are always new books on the shelves. There is something special about being the first person to borrow a book. This time I've taken out "The Story of the Night" by Colm Toibin, "Double Indemnity" James M Cain, "The Dangerous Sports Euthanasia Society" by Christine Coleman, Patrick Rambaud's "The Exile", and "All Souls' Rising" by Madison Smartt Bell. Lots of variety - and only three weeks to get through them. The great thing about my local library is the themed displays they have - bestsellers, new books, books of the film, and they also do voting and reviews. There are always plenty of people there as well - and this is a deprived part of London. I especially like the fact that they have books in lots of languages - the latest is a Lithuanian stand with the Lord of the Rings in Lithuanian. Fantastic!

I was pleased to get letters as well today. I really like old fashioned mail.

Mary Poppins

J sent an e-mail about her trip to Mary Poppins - the stage version not the film - I'll tell you all more tomorrow.

Religious thoughts

I'm a total heathen - I lost my religion thirty years ago, and yet I find religion fascinating. Perhaps it is the philosopher within me. I found the TV programme tonight 'Gay Muslims' extremely absorbing because it showed how so many different interpretation of the Koran exist. The general thought is that gay men deserve stoning - it is evil and unacceptable, and yet others say that is not what should be read into the various references to homosexuality. A gay Muslim woman was declarating that what was wrong was to proclaim it, to be proud of it, not the orientation. Interesting stuff.

I've been involved with civil partnerships at work and I am moved by the succession of couples (often of decades standing) who are so pleased to be able to register their commitment to each other. It somewhat disproves the commonly held believe that all gay men are promiscuous. So far there have been far more male couples coming through the doors than women. Last weekend a couple who had been together for fifty years registered their partnership in a local theatre, and nearly everyone (a crowd of over 100) were in tears as they exchanged rings (this included the Registrar). The atmosphere was so charged with emotion.

We have had adverse comments from religious groups who believe that the institution of Christian marriage has been undermined - especially in those Register Offices where 'Marriage Rooms' have been renamed 'Ceremony Rooms', and Bride's Rooms have mysteriously disappeared. I think they forget that Register Offices in the UK are non religious secular buildings.

Any views?

Star Trek

OK so this is just self indulgent.

Thoughts for the day

Gordon Brown wants us to to have a British Day - and as my birthday is St George's Day I want it to be that day! He also says we should fly the Union Jack in our gardens just like the Americans do. What do the Brits looking at this think - and do the Americans really all fly the Stars & Stripes in their gardens?
Secondly - the introduction of Civil Partnerships makes me ask what about titles? Why doesn't David Furniss get a title now that he's 'married' Sir Elton John - when a woman would get to be called 'Lady John'. If two women enter a Civil Partnership do they both get called 'Mrs'?
Thirdly - now that we've hounded a whale to its' death in the Thames and there's to be a cull of grey squirells what does this say about the traditional British love of animals?
Makes you think really.

I borrowed this

I was put on to this by Tahin (you'll find her blog by typing it in to the search immediately above my blog). I think it is interesting stuff - as is the speech that it was taken from. There is a link from Tahin's blog.
"I’ll end by telling a story.
There was once a civilization that was the greatest in the world.
It was able to create a continental super-state that stretched from ocean to ocean, and from northern climes to tropics and deserts. Within its dominion lived hundreds of millions of people, of different creeds and ethnic origins.
One of its languages became the universal language of much of the world, the bridge between the peoples of a hundred lands. Its armies were made up of people of many nationalities, and its military protection allowed a degree of peace and prosperity that had never been known. The reach of this civilization’s commerce extended from Latin America to China, and everywhere in between.
And this civilization was driven more than anything, by invention. Its architects designed buildings that defied gravity. Its mathematicians created the algebra and algorithms that would enable the building of computers, and the creation of encryption. Its doctors examined the human body, and found new cures for disease. Its astronomers looked into the heavens, named the stars, and paved the way for space travel and exploration.
Its writers created thousands of stories. Stories of courage, romance and magic. Its poets wrote of love, when others before them were too steeped in fear to think of such things.
When other nations were afraid of ideas, this civilization thrived on them, and kept them alive. When censors threatened to wipe out knowledge from past civilizations, this civilization kept the knowledge alive, and passed it on to others.
While modern Western civilization shares many of these traits, the civilization I’m talking about was the Islamic world from the year 800 to 1600, which included the Ottoman Empire and the courts of Baghdad, Damascus and Cairo, and enlightened rulers like Suleiman the Magnificent.
Although we are often unaware of our indebtedness to this other civilization, its gifts are very much a part of our heritage. The technology industry would not exist without the contributions of Arab mathematicians. Sufi poet-philosophers like Rumi challenged our notions of self and truth. Leaders like Suleiman contributed to our notions of tolerance and civic leadership.
And perhaps we can learn a lesson from his example: It was leadership based on meritocracy, not inheritance. It was leadership that harnessed the full capabilities of a very diverse population–that included Christianity, Islamic, and Jewish traditions.
This kind of enlightened leadership — leadership that nurtured culture, sustainability, diversity and courage — led to 800 years of invention and prosperity.
In dark and serious times like this, we must affirm our commitment to building societies and institutions that aspire to this kind of greatness. More than ever, we must focus on the importance of leadership– bold acts of leadership and decidedly personal acts of leadership.
With that, I’d like to open up the conversation and see what we, collectively, believe about the role of leadership."

Printable version

Happy Saturday

Must be a feature of my age but weekends now seem to be dominated by cleaning the flat and doing the washing! Although there was a good play on Radio 4 this afternoon, and Any Answers really annoyed me (as usual). I hadn't realised how many fascists still lived in Britain. There was an interesting discussion on aging parents though - with Gordon Brown about to produce a second child at 55. The panel thought this was great, but as one caller said, would they take the same view if a woman was giving birth at 55. I think not - the usual double standards.
Don't start me on the Respect agenda!
Lots of letters today - which was nice. Also more e-mails about the picture of my Junior School.
Visit from D this evening - hadn't seen them in months. He always cheers me up though.
Just noticed that the ad for this page (at the moment) is about Family History. Very suitable choice - in view of my occupation!

The Dormitory Boys

What a bizarre blog this is - wonderful - the audio videos are hilarious.

First Comment!

Got my first comment which led me to someone else's blog and an interesting comment on Islamic Terrorists. That made me comment on that blog so if anyone is viewing this blog they might go on to see others - what a nice community! My comments on Islamic Terrorism might seem a little challenging, and unlikely to receive much agreement, perhaps.

Down memory lane

I went to see my family today - not something I often do. But the sun was shining, after early showers and the A13, M25 and A12 were all pretty clear. Strangely my family could remember the names of more people in my Junior School photo than I could. Weird! I'm very pleased that so many people are now visiting my blog - even if they can't seem to add comments. I'll find out why that is. And now I'm glued to the infamous Judge John Deed. One thing I do want to start discussing is 'The Archers'. Just because one of the actresses decided to move to New Zealand they decide to go into this really tedious storyline and do we care about the fate of Grey Gables?

A real blast from the past

Just been sent this picture which features me - 1960, front row third from the right. Moulsham junior Boys School. Trouble is I have difficulty remembering the names of any of the people in my class. In case you want to know - we were doing 'Scottish Country Dancing' for an annual open day.

Wednesday 18th January

I am going to try to write a few comments daily - I don't know if anyone will respond though - lets see!
Today was drizzly and dull in East London. My nebuliser was overdue its' service so I had to drive to the London Chest Hospital. It seemed to take forever. The traffic was really heavy, and all the alternative routes seemed equally as bad. There were a couple of large women sat outside the physiotherapy department waiting for some piece of equipment or other and insisted on giving every Asian doctor a wolf whistle as they passed by. I was content to read my copy of 'White Mischief' - a fascinating analysis of the murder of Earl Errol in World War II. I was pleased to get a replacement set of mouthpiece and tubes and filters for the nebuliser.

Had a drift around W H Smiths and Borders Books at Gallions Reach - but couldn't find three books in the 3 for 2 offer that made it worth my while!

Returned for lunch and a letter from J - always a pleasure. Several e-mails, including a review of Brokeback Mountain 'moving, tender and graphic (phew) but beautifully photographed and acted - very Ang Lee. I loved it.... the tears were falling'. Thanks to Ja. Perhaps too much of a gut wrencher for me - anyone else got a review?

Spent a couple of hours this evening assisting A with his job application. Caught the end of Sheila Hancock's Family History programme. Fascinating stuff - but I don't think researching my family's past would reveal anything fascinating!

Success!

Well that was easier than I thought it would be!

First Post

I don't really do photos but here is a rarity of me going about my duties!